I think equating your worth to the amount of money spent on the first date, is internalized misogyny that objectifies women...
I don't understand what it means to be a woman but I think that's a dangerous idea and probably an unhealthy aspect of many relationships. Equating love and care to worldly, man made concepts is dangerous, especially those that have their roots in times when women were seen as property to be bought and sold. Are men and women partners or not? And why do so many women idea of a partner follow traditional roles in romance, then want progressive thought everywhere else?
I feel like it's the obsession with the relationships, the inherent insecurities that comes from being a woman and being told weird shit from society that puts you below men, and also gotta acknowledge the PTSD from the toxic ideas around relationships that means shit don't make sense. But traditional roles are not it, at least in western society. That never worked either. We need a new way of seeing relationships. Hopefully not by demonizing getting to know each other over coffee lol if you know you're worth in your heart of hearts, then you know someone taking you out for coffee can't diminish or change it.