I’ve Decided To Do What I Want.

I usually agonize over whether my writing is good enough, but I want to experiment.

I consider myself to be a writer… Kind of. I’m not as consistent as I want to be and constantly find myself writing repeatedly on my Instagram, rather than coming to the blank page and letting it all out there. I conclude there’s many reasons for that, one being Instagram’s partnerships with neuroscientists devoted to making me addicted to the app, another being the illusion of connection social media provides, that my subconscious secretly longs for, and the main barrier I believe… taking myself too damn seriously.

I think you need to take yourself seriously in order to succeed. But if you’re taking yourself so seriously you never act or produce work you approve of, maybe its time to step back and take some deep breaths. I’m at this point in my writing. I’ll have an idea and never flesh it out because I think, oh it needs to sound like this, and come off like this, and be cited in this way and that way and blah blah blah blah blah. Really its just fear. Fear of being judged and my work being ridiculed, being “not good enough”. But what the hell am I worried about my work being judged for? I do this for fun, not for funds. Hell, in my more than a year of publishing on Medium, I doubt I’ve made 50 dollars. But my obsession with how my work will be viewed has prevented me from sharing as much as I would like to. I’ve decided to change up my methodology when it comes to writing.